A Boy and his Tuba (opening take 1 first person)

My life changed in an instant. There was no flash of light, no explosion of awareness, no overwhelming epiphany. It wasn’t religious, it wasn’t spiritual. It was a completely mundane matter of fact moment without a hint of doubt of irony. There, in the window of sound exchange, on North Loop, in Austin, Texas, as the summer of 1994 was starting up, was a beat up tarnished old sousaphone previously owned by an old German guy who had put it up on consignment for reasons only he will ever know. I remember nodding matter of factly. I didn’t even get excited, but form one instant to the next I knew that was what I was going to do for the rest of my life. Now I’m normally a person who over analyses things from every excruciating and possible angle to the point of complete inaction. Looking back, for the life of me, I still cannot believe my lack of self-doubt. How could there not have been a voice yelling inside of me about the ludicrous nature of the situation.
“You’re an idiot. What the hell are you thinking? You have no idea what you’re doing and considering and you’re so caught up in a moment that you’re not even aware of past and future. Don’t you realize that at the age of 24, never having blown a note on the tuba, the idea that you’re going to spend the rest of your life dedicated to the playing of an instrument of which all you know is encompassed by having listened to some New Orleans Brass bands is both dumb and stupid.”
Somehow, at that moment, not only were there no doubts but I failed to follow an action to its future repercussions. At no point did I argue with myself that if I do this then it would lead to this and that. I saw no future but only immediate action. It was easily the strangest and most wonderful moment of my life whose significance registered only many years later.
I bought that sousaphone and started teaching myself to play. For some strange reason, even though they are virtually the same instrument (comparable to a trumpet and a cornet or a baritone horn and a euphonium), I really wanted to play an actual tuba. The sousaphone was $700 dollars and though I could barely afford that I was able to come up with the cash but tubas were well out of my price range. Even a cheap one was $3000. Doubts and obstacles were completely meaningless at this point though. Somehow I’d think of something and somehow I’d continue plunging mindlessly forward with no thought of the consequence of my actions…