Bands

I'm definitely remembering why I don't generally enjoy being in people's bands. I like doing my own thing. I'm fairly tasteful and I can usually more or less play what other people want me to but it's simply not that fulfilling for me. It seems like we're basically in Kamil's band as the main act on this tour. We furiously tried to learn as much music as possible in the very limited time we've had. I pretty much gave up on receiving recordings of the songs so at this point theyre all a jumble in my head. I think the attitude is we're good enough to pull it off. Tight isnt the aesthetic. My personal take is that its europe and everybody can play and has a thing going so it doesn't really matter (it frustrates me though not really having stuff down and tight. The dynamic between steve mackay and Kamil is pretty much emblematic of why I like to do my own thing. They'll bicker about how a song really goes, citing the recordings (which I have mysteriously been unable to get no matter how many times I ask) and I can tell it goes a little beyond just the music. Steve is basically in deep. I think the tour is longer than he had planned on and we're probably slumming it a little more than he's used to wish iggy and the stooges. We slept in a garage last night at a squat in Paris which was considerably nicer than the squat in Aimes we were in last night (think the pikey village from snatch). I had a little bit of a panic attack after the day's rehearsal. It was occurring to me that this was going to be a long tour and that I didn't know these people (when you don't know people it's hard to Gage the seriousness of their being upset and arguing with each other) and what if the shows suck and what if there are problems with my equipment (funny story here. I think I might have done real damage to one of my electrix repeaters during rehearsal yesterday. I was taking out my 4th valve slide to empty it of condensation (yes it's condensation and not spit steve garofano! Well mostly at least) and my hand jerked as the slide separated from the tuba and bumped in to the side of my electronics case. Condensation splashed onto my repeater and I didn't really think about it. Now the record Button is on the fritz. Hopefully it'll dry out and be fine. I rigged a pedal to trigger it from the foot switch but it's a bit of a pain in the ass. The show must go on though) and what if I don't sell any of my CDs and I lose tons of money and why didn't I rent out my room and why cant i speak any french and why didn't I just stay home! I think mackay has been thinking a few of the same thoughts (although he does speak french pretty well) only I'm a lit younger and healthier and I can just put my head down and get through the month a lot easier (I have to deal with a lot more equipment though. It does make me wish that I was just acoustic. I shoulda just stayed in new Orleans and played in brass bands!). I think we're both on the same wavelength about making contacts and having to start somewhere in Europe and I'm sure once the shows get going it'll all get a lot better. I sort of just wish I was simply responsible for playing my own music and that's it but I'm sure it'll all turn out well in the end. It really helped last night that after the rehearsal and my panic attack all the folks in the squat cooked a big communal dinner and they were really nice and some of them broke out instruments (cello, clarinet, etc...) and it was a really nice family type hang. Steve then told lots of good stories and it all reminded me that life is good. I writing this as I walk around the old city in Paris and it's early in the morning and people are going to work and the sun is finally threatening to come out (it's been all rain up to this point). Kamil's worked hard to put the whole tour together and it ain't easy booking. Bourges tonight. Hope it's a good show...